How to Start (and End) a Relationship on Social Media
My friend — yes, it’s actually a friend, not a “friend” — has been seeing this guy for a few months, and I had asked to see pictures of him on Facebook.
“We’re not Facebook friends,” she quickly admitted. ”I think we’re in an undiscussed stalemate. Neither of us will add each other. It’s like who can hold out longer.”
It’s 2012. We’re constantly on our phones, Instagramming images of every meal we eat, tweeting about how miserable the MBTA is and checking in to all six bars we venture to on Friday night. Given all that, I find it extremely strange that you can’t Facebook friend someone you’ve been seeing for several months.
Which got me to thinking, when is an appropriate time to “friend” someone you’re dating? How about following them on Twitter and Foursquare? Then there’s the flip-side — what happens when you break-up? Do you cut all social media communication?
Ugh, 2012 is hard. I’m by no means an expert, but here are my thoughts on dating and social media.
Starting a Relationship
Twitter – Go ahead and follow them right away. Assuming you both have open accounts, your tweets likely won’t be filled anything too personal. If it’s kosher for your colleagues’ eyes, it’s OK for the dude or lady you met at the bar last week to see it, too.
Facebook – Facebook gets a bit more intimate. I’d wait a few weeks before friending them. Up pop the mutual friends. “Oh hey, how do you know my coworker Eric, too?” “Uh, I once dated him.” Yeah, awkward. Once accepted, they can then see your life in sometimes less-than-flattering images: senior prom pics, your obsession with your cat named Katniss, photos of you on the Cape with your ex-boo last year, embarrassing posts from Mom. You’re opening a lot of doors here with the new Timeline, Zuck.
Foursquare – Foursquare crosses into stalker zone. I wouldn’t add until you’re in a completely committed relationship with this person. I mean, you’ve got to leave some mystery in the relationship, right? You don’t need to know the exact minute they checked into Dunkin in the morning, and they don’t need to know that you had to stop at CVS to pick up tampons before meeting them for dinner.
LinkedIn – Whenever you remember to log on. Your forgetfulness may outlast your relationship. Carry on.
The Breakup
Twitter – Larry the Bird should be the first to go. Because Twitter doesn’t have a good filtering mechanism (who honestly uses lists?), their little avatar will continually pop-up in your stream at the most infuriating times, especially if you’re someone like me who tweets every 2.5 minutes. You don’t need to hear about their MBTA horrible commute this morning or how much they loved Buzzfeed’s latest list about disappointed cats. It’s torture. Unfollow.
Facebook – Unless it was a horrible breakup, there’s no need to de-friend. Luckily, Zuck-dawg must have had some miserable breakups, because Facebook now has the “unsubscribe” feature, which allows you to stop receiving updates from the ex in your newsfeed. But you can still stalk their profile to see if they’re hooking up with their neighbor you caught them eyeing at that party that one time. Win-win.
Foursquare – Tread carefully. Like I said earlier, Foursquare ventures into stalker category. “Oh, hey! I just randomly happened to bump into you a this Dunkin that I had absolutely no idea you were at! Why am I so out of breath, you ask? No, I didn’t just jog a mile across town to get here after I saw you check-in….”
LinkedIn – Leave it alone. If you’re concerned about your ex seeing your resume updates, you’ve got much deeper issues. Plus, you never know when you might need to sweet talk her into helping you land your dream job. She always did like truffles — don’t forget that.
Oh, and as for Pinterest, if you even allowed him to see your “My Future Wedding <3” board in the first place, you now know the reason for your breakup.
What are the conventions of social media and dating?
from BostInno http://bostinno.com/2012/06/21/how-to-start-and-end-a-relationship-on-social-...